Your Facial Hair Is Only a Problem If You Say It Is

April 15th, 2013
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Warthog I am red-hot angry right now. I just read an advice column in which a man explained that he had stopped dating two different women that he really liked because they had "a slight 'stache" and asked for advice in dealing with this terrible problem. I moved on to the answer, expecting "Prudence" to tell this person about himself. Instead, to my horror, she responded thusly:

"Women, if you’re wondering why that guy you hit if off with didn’t call for a third date, or what’s keeping you from being someone’s Sally, stand in front of a magnifying mirror in harsh light and see if one reason is that you’re hairier than Harry."

I'm sorry, what, now? I'm supposed to stand in front of a magnifying mirror under harsh light searching for whatever minor physical "imperfection" apparently overrides everything else about me in the eyes of certain men? Thanks, but I think I'll spend that time doing something more pleasant. Like root canal.

I'm afraid you really dropped the ball on this one, Prudie. Who is this paragon of male perfection that he gets to be told that his absurd standards for the women he dates are in any way appropriate? Why on earth should they make a specific effort to find something to dislike about themselves for his sake?

Here's the deal, folks: If you have a problem with those few hairs on your upper lip, by all means, go see an electrologist and get those permanently gone. If those hairs aren't bugging you, then anybody who decides that he or she can't possibly date your amazing self over that, or any other cosmetic issue, you tell them where to stick their magnifying mirror and harsh lights!

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